Self-worth, Self-esteem and Happiness

There is an illusionary triangle that happens between the idea of self-worth, self-esteem and happiness. We seem to spiral downwards into depression whenever we are missing one of these and whenever we’re not happy it is because our self-esteem is a little low.

If our self-esteem is low, we are not happy. We feel our self-worth dropping down as well so we don’t hold ourselves in very high esteem. Sometimes this may happen because of moods and a bad mood is often the resason for blaming others. Very often, however, blaming others causes bad feeling to us as well and the more we blame others, the worse we feel.

So one of our most common and widespread prejudices is that every person has a fixed and special characteristic that they are
kind people or evil people, clever people or stupid people or cold people or hot people. But people are not like this. We can say of a person, only that he is more often kind than evil, more often cold than hot, more often clever than stupid.

We always divide people like this but this is no less wrong. If there is animosity between 2 people, both are to blame. Any number that is multiplied by zero, however big will equal zero. So if there is animosity then, it is the animosity of 2 people towards each other and it exists in both of them. So if you are in a self-deprecating system, in other words you are fighting with yourself what happens is that you are trying to tell yourself that you are no good. You are trying to tell yourself that you are not worthy of all the good things that you want to receive from life including love, not just material things but things that may involve emotion from other people as well.

This includes respect. So we deny ourselves even the gifts that are within ourselves, the treasure that is within ourselves. We are like many-faceted gemstones. Each side represents a different aspect of ourselves. We have our emotional sides with different feelings and responses, we have our competencies and strengths, our hopes and desires, our destructiveness and negativity, our selfdoubts and resentment. We also possess a drive for power and knowledge, a desire to serve and a wish to connect with others.

So our spiritual side requires that we know our many sides. We need a working relationship with our thoughts and feelings so that they can be appreciated, respected and understood. So when we tell our stories to each other, as friends, we let them know and we get to know ourselves even better and that is where a community of likemindedness serves to empower us as well and that’s where friends and family become very important. So choose very wisely who your friends are and who are the people you want to discover yourselves through. Whether you are with them in meditation or playfulness or physical activity or people you simply have conversations with.

In that way you become more amd more honest and more yourself. It is human to make mistakes and feel incomplete. Perhaps if we were all smooth like glass we can perfection of ourselves. But each person is actually a process. We are not things but events and happenings and the events are still unfolding and these are creative and spiritual adventures in life. We have somehow learnt that openness to criticism is dangerous and perhaps we thought someone would not like us if we were wrong or that we would get hurt or belittled. So when we live with our higher power, we can stand up for ourselves and a person has a right to make some mistakes obviously. We grow more if we allow ourselves to leeway(?) or simply being in process. Tell yourselves that you will not ask to have the power of perfection, you will only ask that you will not be alone in the process of living your life.